Here we are a few days into the new year and every time I see a post related to "new year, new me", I literally want to vomit.  Don't get me wrong, I've been guilty of this saying myself.  I've made resolutions each year for as long as I can remember because it's just "what we do" for the new year.  Why are we making resolutions when we should be making goals instead?  Let's compare 'resolution' and 'goal' for a minute.

• resolution n. 1. a firm decision to do or not do something
• goal n. 2. the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result

I want to point out that resolutions involve "firm" decisions, but let's face it, life happens on a daily basis.  Are you really going to let these firm decisions get in the way of actually living and being present?  Goals on the other hand allow you to be ambitious and aim towards a result. You may fall down, but goals allow you to get back up.

Why are we making resolutions that we will break in about a month when the Girl Scout cookies come out?  I mean many people make resolutions to lose weight or start a new diet year after year.  Why do you think we see more diet and exercise commercials immediately following Christmas?

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we set ourselves up for eventually failing to stick to such a "firm decision", rather than aiming to achieve results?

A couple of years ago, my husband and I decided to stop making resolutions and to make goals instead.  We create goals to have a clear vision of where we want to be.  We decided that we would strive to become better versions of ourselves on a daily basis.  Why do we continue to say "new year, new me" and set resolutions year after year?  Honestly, I don't want to be someone new.  I just want to be a better version of myself than I was today and yesterday.  I make mistakes. I'm hard on myself. I fail, but I always do my best to try again.



Don't get me wrong, some of our goals are extremely small.  One year we made a goal that we would make the bed every day.  Do you really think that we make the bed every day? No way, but our goal allowed us to aim high and now that goal has become a habit.  Our mantra is "the last one out of the bed has to make it".

This year, we set a couple of goals as well.  Please don't laugh when you read these.  I am being completely serious.

1.  Wash, dry, fold, AND put away the laundry.

I recently came across this meme and texted it directly to my husband.



Wow, was that a slap in the face, but really funny.  I honestly thought we were the only people who struggled to put our clean laundry away in a timely manner.  I guess I was wrong.  That's the thing about social media, you never see the pile of laundry not put away, the dirty dishes in the sink, the pile of shoes at the back door, the pile of random receipts/keys/wallet etc. on the corner of the counter that your husband continuously adds to, the unmade bed, that pile of papers under the edge of the bed that your husband said he sorted, etc.  Okay, so maybe these are just the things that my husband tries to not so secretly do that drive me crazy.  Sorry, Dustyn, you know how I feel about clutter.

What we really see are these perfect lives rather than authenticity.  I'm so guilty of it myself, which leads me to my next goal.

2. Be real.

I can't do it all.  I can't be perfect and that's okay.  I need to be real and stop hiding things that aren't "picture perfect" and acknowledge my shortcomings.  I want to focus on being as real and authentic as possible.

3. Prep more meals and cook at home.

We are so guilty of just grabbing things on the go with our busy schedules.  I want to be more intentional about meal prepping and cooking at home so we can make healthier choices.

4. 20 unread emails in 2020

If there's one thing I STRUGGLE with at work; it's keeping up with my emails.  My goal is to have 20 or less unread emails in my inbox during 2020.

5. Focus on self-love

I recently read a tweet on Twitter from one of my teachers about how it doesn't make sense to say things to or about yourself that you couldn't imagine saying to or about someone you love.  This stopped me in my tracks and it is so true.  The things I say to/about myself are things I would never say to or about the people I love.  I have to focus on loving myself for who I am and focus on positive affirmations.

Over time, this list will continue to grow.  Our goals will evolve and change as we do, but we have to start somewhere.  I don't want to be a "new me".  I just want to be a better version of myself.  What goals are you making for yourself in 2020?  If we all make goals to improve ourselves, imagine what a difference we can make in this world.  Remember, you won't meet all of your goals in 2020 and that's okay.  A new year isn't an expiration date.  It's a time to refocus.  I wish you nothing but the best as you work to set and meet your goals!  Happy 2020!

Forever Yung,
Kyra